Regaining Command Read online

  So much of her wanted to fall into the trap, the silken web of sweet lies and emotional deception.

  It was just sex. She closed her eyes and swallowed. That's all it ever would be.

  But as he stroked his hands over her hips and kissed her face with fluttering touches, she melted.

  He clasped her face in his palms and stared at her. She had to force herself to hold his gaze with her own and not glance away.

  Whatever he might have said at that moment was lost as an alarm sounded from the ATHV.

  The man was so quick that he had kissed her, dressed and helped with her clothes before she even got her senses back. Together they sprinted for the vehicle.

  Donny stopped suddenly, his arm caught Elise around the waist and yanked her behind some thick bushes.

  By the ATHV, Jenia and Paul stood with their hands in the air and two soldiers held a blaster on them.

  "What are we being arrested for?” Jenia asked. “Your imprisonment of Paul Lestrano was illegal, and I've protested to Earth Central. What are your grounds?"

  The younger of the two soldiers answered. “You are to be held as material witnesses in the murder of Trista Locke."

  "Witnesses to what?” Jenia glared at them. “We weren't there. The only evidence you have against Paul is he was a Tribunal soldier."

  "We'll just wait for your companions, and take you in. You can discuss this with Dr. Meiner.” The other soldier scanned the brush and Elise held still.

  "We told you. There are no others.” Paul's stance seemed relaxed, but Elise noted the flexed tension in his spine. He was ready to spring if necessary.

  "You were seen leaving with Pasquel.” The younger man spat out the name as if it was poison. “He's a traitor and a killer. He should be put down like an animal."

  "We split up,” Jenia insisted.

  "Let's just kill them. That's what he wants anyway,” The older soldier said. The younger man glared at him.

  "Shut up."

  "Look. They came out here on the run, and if they don't come back no one will be surprised,” the man whined. “He told us to take care of the problem,” he murmured and Elise almost didn't catch the words.

  "Grady.” The younger soldier stared at the older man. “You talk too much.” The soldier turned his blaster to his comrade and blew him away. He aimed the blaster for Paul, but the retired Tribunal was already on him. Jenia ran for the back of the ATHV and grabbed a hand blaster.

  The soldier was thrown back and had the blaster trained on Paul's chest when his eyes widened and he fell forward on his face.

  Donny stood behind the man with a blaster still zinging from the charge.

  She hadn't even realized he'd moved.

  As she and Donny bent over the older soldier who was still barely alive, Paul checked the ID tags on the younger dead man.

  The older man coughed up blood, and gripped Donny's arm. “The Dormrela—” He coughed again, and she tried to help him sit up. “Ambassador. Assassination. Set you up."

  "Who sent you after us?” Donny demanded.

  The older soldier stared at Donny and died.

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  Chapter Six

  Donny knew what he had to do. He had to contact his Earth Central connection. Whatever was going on here was going to get Elise killed if he didn't figure it all out soon.

  As he observed the life bleed out of the soldier, frustration ripped through him and he clenched his fists to control it. He stood and strode to the ATHV.

  "Is he gone?” Jenia asked him as she laid a restraining hand on his bicep. Donny couldn't meet her gaze.

  "Yes. He's dead."

  "Donny—” Jenia's grip tightened, but Donny eased out of her grasp and opened the vehicle door.

  "I have to contact Earth Central. You brought the Sat Com, right, Dr. Carstairs?” He knew he was stiff arming Jenia with his formality, but he just didn't want to feel anything. Killing was a natural reflex, yet devastating to him now that the Dormrelian injections were gone. His training still made him lethal, but his emotions were new and raw.

  "I did. Who is your contact?"

  He finally met her gaze with a smirk. “I don't know."

  Paul nodded and rolled his eyes. “I think I know that guy."

  Elise hadn't said a word, her face white and pasty. Donny had only glanced her way and determined she was probably disgusted by the ease that he ended a life. Killer. He didn't look at her again. It hurt too much.

  He fiddled with the knobs and managed to send an emergency code through the various satellites. The answer came but it was slow.

  "What is the emergency, Lieutenant?” The voice was distorted.

  "I've been accused of murder, placed under arrest with no contact allowed and someone just tried to murder me, Dr. Carstairs, Paul Lestrano and Dr. Fleming. Why don't you tell me what's going on?"

  "Has the Dormrelian ambassador arrived yet?"

  Donny glanced at Elise, who stood in the half circle beside the ATHV with her arms crossed and her face filled with fear. “Yesterday. Why?"

  "Someone doesn't want Elise to share information with Ambassador Slavern. If Dr. Carstairs is with you, who's in charge at the Causeway?"

  "Dr. Carl Meiner. He doesn't like me much.” Donny met the amused gaze of Lestrano.

  "No, he wouldn't. His sister was murdered by a Tribunal.” The connection crackled. “I'll call him. Go back to the Causeway."

  "And I should trust you why exactly?"

  There was only silence for an answer. Donny swore. “I guess we're going back."

  Paul nodded. “We don't have much choice."

  "I'm the only one who has to follow the order,” Donny pointed out. “You can go with Jenia to the temple. Even if they arrest me, you'll be free."

  "Don't be stupid.” Paul waved a hand. “There's only one vehicle. We'll all go."

  "Elise?” He didn't meet her stare and almost jumped out of his skin when her hand rested on his cheek.

  "We all go."

  When he raised his eyes to read her expression, he was surprised to find compassion, even pride there. She wasn't disgusted, just scared. And she wanted him to protect her.

  It was at that moment Donny Pasquel realized he was in love with Elise Fleming.

  * * * *

  For the next few hours as they barreled down the dirt road back to the colony, Donny tried to adjust to the new state of things and wondered when he'd been caught by Elise Fleming.

  He'd tried to stay away, as if he knew she was a danger to him emotionally. It wasn't as if he had ignored her. She thought he didn't know what she did those months he stayed distant as she visited The Asberek Moon and fucked Jonah Speigler. She thought he wasn't aware that she flagged his file and checked it for information.

  She probably thought he didn't know she used his hologram in the VFR. So many times he considered switching places with his lucky computer twin, but satisfied himself by watching her. He knew what she liked, what she wanted, what turned her on.

  Sexually.

  But everything else about her was a mystery.

  Her psyche eval had only scratched the surface of the woman he knew. He sat beside her in the backseat of the ATHV and wondered if he'd ever know her. He wanted to.

  Even as he considered this, he dismissed it. She was a scientist, brilliant. Her colleagues loved her. Her social life was busy and varied.

  Wouldn't he make a great addition to her circle of colonist friends? “Hi, I'd like you to meet Donny. He's a trained killer."

  He closed his eyes. It would never work. He had to shore up the wall that crumbled every time she touched him. He had to create distance.

  "Donny,” her voice broke into his thoughts and scattered them. “Do you have any idea why someone would want me dead?"

  As he took a deep breath, he processed all the information he had on Elise. What would make her worth killing? “From what I've read of your discoveries at the Temple, you were getting closer to tr
anslating some of the ancient writings on the walls. We know very little about the Dormrela. You've been delving into the underground quite a bit with your sonar equipment. Perhaps they don't want you to desecrate this part of the Temple."

  She stared at him. “How did you know that? I only wrote that in my reports to Earth Central."

  "It's my required reading.” He shrugged. “The Dormrela have been very vocal about their demand for excavation rights of the Temple. Perhaps removing you is part of their plan."

  "But why does this murder resemble the Gershon murder?"

  He frowned. “It's possible Riggo didn't kill the Gershons. He was under the influence of Alien injections, and I know what those did to me."

  She stared at him. “What did they do?"

  Startled, he met her gaze. She was curious. His eyebrows rose. “I thought Jenia explained it."

  "She explained the physiological aspects—the suppressed neurons in your frontal lobe, the destroyed brain cells that controlled your moral center and the creation of the scales—but only you can tell me what it was really like."

  "Why would you want to know?” He swerved his gaze out the window and the jungle.

  Her touch was warm on his arm. “Because it will help me understand."

  He still didn't look at her. “Understand what? I'm a trained killer, Elise. Don't try and make me something I'm not."

  "And don't try and make yourself something you're not.” She tightened her hand around his bicep. “You are not a monster."

  Finally, he turned his head and met her gaze. “Yes, I am, Elise. I'm a cold bastard who killed four women because I was told to.” He lifted her hand away from his arm. “The reason Meiner suspects me is because they all know I'm a murderer."

  She shook her head. “You know that's not true."

  He traced a mark on her collarbone where his teeth had sunk into her soft skin. “If I were a good man, Elise, Kliro never would have been able to do what he did to me. I wanted the power he offered. More than anything."

  "He manipulated you. Used you."

  "I wanted to be used.” He twisted his lips into a half smile. “I wanted to be more than just the son of a drunk drill instructor. I wanted to be someone special."

  "You are someone special,” she said like she meant it.

  But she didn't know where he'd come from. No one used the term “white trash” in the twenty-third century but that didn't mean it wasn't still there. And he was its poster child. His father drank, his mother cried and the world seemed bleak and dark to a twelve-year-old boy who was born a bastard. When Kliro came and told him he was some Dormrelian superhero, he snapped it up like a dog lapped up scraps from a table.

  In her eyes, he was a victim of Kliro, but Donny knew better. He'd been an eager participant in his own destruction. “I'm nobody. I'm a guy who was tricked by an alien. That's not new."

  Her hand reached up and stroked his cheek. “You're a guy who was used by an alien for his own sick purposes. You were his victim. How the hell would a twelve-year-old be able to tell Kliro was lying to you? When are you going to stop blaming yourself for what happened?"

  With a firm grasp, he removed her hand from his cheek. “When I'm dead. It was my fault. All of it. Because of me, Daniella Pearce was almost killed. Because of me, four women are dead. I know what I've done."

  "Do you?” She stared at him, and he wondered what she meant.

  "I relive it every day.” He closed his eyes.

  "You've probably saved me from being killed. That should have been me dead at the Asberek Moon, remember? Jonah would be dead too."

  She was right. He knew it, but his feelings were so raw, so overwhelming, he didn't know what to say. If he opened his mouth, his completely ridiculous feelings of love would pour from him and he couldn't risk it.

  He clamped his lips shut.

  She glared at him. “I know what that look means."

  He raised his eyebrows in a silent question.

  She sighed. “It means you think I'm wrong and you're not going to argue with me.” She crossed her arms and stuck her lower lip out. “Fine."

  If only she knew, he thought.

  * * * *

  Elise was exhausted. She dropped off to sleep as they barreled down the road to intercept the Dormrelian ambassador. All the intrigue and the questions made her head hurt.

  Somehow, Donny's arm had ended up around her shoulders, and she had snuggled into the crook of his arm in her sleep. It was the safest she'd felt for days.

  When she woke up a little while later, she stretched and Donny's elbow brushed the side of her breast. It embarrassed her how quickly her body responded and wanted. Just wanted.

  As she cleared her throat, she scooted away from him. He blinked and glanced away, but didn't try and close the distance between them. With a heavy sigh, she sought some topic to ease the silence. But what topic could she broach? “What was your mother like?” Her own mother had been so carefree and flaky. Her father was an engineer, not prone to expressing emotion. Elise had always been buffeted between the two extremes.

  His face held no glimmer of warmth. “She was very sad."

  "Always?” Elise frowned. “There wasn't a time when she was happy?"

  He seemed to struggle to find the words. “She wasn't a happy person. Even when things went well, she was waiting for the other shoe to drop.” His smile was bitter. “She never told my father about me. I spent the first nine years believing he was dead."

  "But he found you."

  Donny nodded. “He did. But he wouldn't acknowledge me openly."

  "Why not? That's ridiculous."

  "I don't know all his reasons, but by the time he knew about me, I was already pretty warped by my mother's mental problems.” He frowned. “He was trying to make it in the military, and I was a liability."

  "I still say that's ridiculous.” She was indignant. To deny a child an identity for any reason seemed foolish and mean-spirited.

  "I think,” Donny spoke slowly, “he wanted to be more involved, but my mother wouldn't let him. I don't know the whole story."

  "Didn't you ask him?"

  His smile held no humor. “No. By the time he'd quit drinking and tried to help me, I was set on my path to betraying humans. I've never had the guts to ask him about what happened or why."

  "That sounds awful.” Her heart ached for him. Unwanted by his mother, barely acknowledged by his father and warped by aliens, Donny never stood a chance at anything that resembled love or compassion.

  "It's no worse than I dished out.” He took a deep breath. “What about your family? How did they feel when you signed on for Asberek?"

  Elise shrugged. “Mom lectured me on the conspiracy of the government to control humans through colonization, and Dad gave me books on studying alien cultures.” She rolled her eyes. “Pretty standard behavior for them."

  "They're still married?"

  She smiled. “Yes. They disagree fairly often. Mom is anti-colonist, anti-government. Dad is an engineer for the Greater Earth Central. He builds solar plants for the new energy ministry in the current government. Mom calls him a capitalist pig, and Dad snorts whenever Mom discusses protesting Earth Central policy."

  "Sounds complicated. I take it you got caught in the middle."

  "Frequently. My study of ancient culture and archeology is a compromise, and therefore pisses them both off."

  "Who gets pissed about the nose piercings?"

  "Oh, Dad, all the way."

  "And your mom?"

  "I went to Harvard. When I was sixteen.” She rolled her eyes. “Harvard University. Capitalist central as far as my Mom was concerned."

  "You love them very much, don't you?” He stared at her, his fingers still stroked the back of her hand.

  "I do.” She smiled. “They drive me batty, but I love them."

  "How the hell did you get the name Goth Barbie?” he demanded.

  "Oh Dr. Riggo thought that was hilarious. The black hair, the no
se ring, and my bubbly personality gave him a lot to tease me about. Also, I was only twenty-four when I arrived here. I didn't know how to stop the torment."

  Donny's free hand clenched in a fist.

  She squeezed the hand she held. “It was just a name, Donny."

  His blue eyes blazed as he glared at her. “He hurt you. I can hear it."

  "Not the way you think.” She reached up and stroked his cheek. “I already thought I was a freak. When I signed on for this, I hoped I'd be with freaks like me.” She nodded at Jenia in the front seat. “We all graduated young, lived for our work and didn't do social situations very well. Dr. Riggo just pointed out what I already knew. I'm a freak."

  "No, you're not.” His tone was fierce. “You're absolutely stunning and brilliant on top of that."

  "You're sweet to say so but—"

  "Sweet?” His eyebrows shot up, and then he scowled. “I'm not sweet by any stretch of the imagination. I'm just stating facts."

  "Donny.” She stared at him, hungry.

  "What?"

  I think I'm completely in love with you. Will you stay with me forever and say beautiful things like that to me every day? “Thank you.” She leaned towards him and brushed his lips with hers. “I still say you're sweet."

  His hands shot out and threaded in her hair. “Only you would think so,” he murmured and kissed the breath out of her.

  "Are you two ever going to stop?” Jenia's voice made them both jump.

  Donny grinned at Elise and shook his head. “Apparently not."

  "Well, now is not the time. We're almost back to the colony."

  * * * *

  Dr. Meiner was waiting for them as they pulled back into the colony. He had been contacted by Earth Central, however, and did not arrest Donny and Paul. His sharp gaze met them at the Causeway entrance.

  "I've been informed that I must wait until all the evidence is in before I can arrest you."

  Donny met his anger with raised eyebrows. “That's assuming the evidence points to me. Until you prove I was the one who altered the security feed, you're still guessing.” Elise took his hand, and he glanced down at her, surprised. When she smiled at him, he wasn't sure he could breathe anymore.